Saturday, May 18, 2013

Failure and disappointment ( a page from my diary)


An unexpected storm has suddenly struck my life. It has totally washed away my hopes and dreams that I had once cherished as a little child. It has now destroyed the path that once was laid for me and the path that was supposed to take me to a successful future.
Being a bright student I never imagined that failure would greet me one day and that also in the crucial stage of my life where no second chance were given. I am in dilemma whether to blame fate for playing such a cruel game on me or myself for being so unlucky despite putting my best efforts. Sometimes I wonder if I am being punished for the bad deeds that I must have accumulated in my previous life. I know that I am not the only one in history to have faced such failure but thinking about my life being ruined by it makes unstoppable tears well up blurring my visions. I really envy those people who were brave enough to cope up with the challenges and move forward without any regrets.
I doubt if I will be strong enough to let this harsh reality slide from my memory and be an unpleasant chapter in my book of life. Deep in my heart I know that I will be forever plunged in the abyss of regrets with happiness light years away from my life. I cannot find a space in my heart to forgive myself for killing and stepping on my parents’ hope as I can never be a good daughter.
Now with my previous path destroyed by the harsh storm, I am left with no option but to take the small road which I had despised in the past and was sure never to take it. I know I am taking a really different journey, a journey so different from the one that I liked to imagine in the past. As I pour down my feelings over these empty pages, a realization is constantly at the back of my mind that life is unfair and I am one of those unfortunate people whose dreams had been shattered completely. 

2 comments:

  1. Trust no future, however pleasant,
    let the plead past bury its dead,
    Act-act in the living present!
    Heart within you.

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    Replies
    1. I will definitely follow your advice... Thank you for visiting :)

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