Saturday, June 1, 2013

Hopeless me

I have often wondered where destiny would lead me to. Would I be able to take a new sharp turn from the same old, tired and lonely road? But the answer never seems to change. It is always the pessimist answer that is no, I will never be able to reach to that point. I believe that this answer will never change throughout the course of my life.
I am the one that is lost in a haze, unable to see the path, blinded by the thick fog of failure. My friends are miles ahead of me with their bright future already blooming in the near garden waiting eagerly for their own master but here I am, unable to move forward to search my own garden because I am always held back by my stupidity.
Being here in Sherubtse I could somehow console myself into thinking that at least success would greet me one day but every time I hear the lecturers announcing our marks, the hope goes down the drain. I now realize that I am a complete idiot to have such expectations and my life is not going to get any better. It is always going to remain imperfect, charmless and lonely. Till now I had always been carrying a wrong notion about myself. I am not courageous enough to let go of the past and fight my own battle and that is what I will always remain throughout my life, a complete coward.

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